Everyone privately snickers about Diane Sawyer's seemingly unchangeable helmit of a hairdo, so when she made fun of Howard Dean's wife's hair, one could not help but think: "How sad that no one has the nerve to tell her of the log in her own hair."
"Oh, but she thinks it looks great! Why do you think she never changes it?" said cosmetologist, I.P. Rivers, 211 Ocean Boulevard, Myrtle Beach, SC 30122-6453. "Personally, I think Mrs. Dean has nearly perfect hair. And beyond that, I think the subject is adolescent and beneath even the worst of journalism freshmen. How long has she been in bidness? A hundred years?"
Mr. Rivers has a good point. Where most people hope to get better and better at their craft with age, Mrs. Sawyer seems to be showing signs of senility.
But alone, she is not. Even archons of the trade, such as Jennings, Koppel and Brokaw, seem to have sold their impartiality to the highest bidder. And impartiality is the gold newspersons once sought to achieve in their quest for the the grail of truth, the nail of everyday crosses, the syntax beyond the decree.
And this is why poor Diane needs to be clayaikenized. Made anew. Transvolved.
Kisses all.
