Saturday, July 09, 2005

Numb and Number: Black and Bluebeard

The Human Pirate

I am related to Blackbeard. By marriage. My dad's sister's marriage. She married a great-grandson of the mysterious Mr. Teach. They go by Thach. Not sure what that makes him to me, but I've always found it cool to be related to a legend. And also feel a kinship with Mr. Teach of Pirate's Cove, and wonder if he will change his name.

I am not related to Bluebeard, although my Dad's mom had blue hair, and were she to have grown a beard , I supposed she would have dyed that too. Frankly I'm glad she didn't. I've seen bearded women, and am not a great fan. Electrolysis has its uses, and removing beards from the fairer sex is one of its best. Right up there with the Katarina Witt rule. I liked her. She would skate to avant-garde music, giving visual clues to aural mysteries. There is a lot to be said for the confluence of the leglift, the videocamera, and slomo. Her beard got her into trouble. Hence the rule.

Charlie Chaplin once played a bluebeard. It would be his last film, and one that didn't endear him to governments. Unlike so many today, he was not a brave defender of the rich and powerful. He was not afraid to afflict the comfortable. In The Great Dictator, he afflicted Hitler and the Nazis. In Monsieur Verdoux, his last film, the one in which he played a bluebeard...he afflicted our own government, and the people in power.

Verdoux, a lovable old bank clerk, would befriend the newly-widowed wealthy. They would get happily married, and then he would kill them and take their money. No one counts money faster than a bank teller, and Chaplin turned this skill into pure comedy. You'd think the camera had been sped up, but it was just Charlie working his magic. This and other things he does makes him a rather sympathetic figure, and you start to like the guy. Even knowing what he has done, and will do. I think Chuck is trying to soften our skulls to the notions he is about to convey.

He is eventually caught, and the gentle old lover and killer is trotted off to be fried, or shake-n-baked (not to be confused with shock-n-awed or shekinah-ed), as happens within some systems of justice.

Out comes the egg. Plop.

"Do you have any last words, Monsieur Verdoux?", the judge asks, at which point the kindly old octogenarian killer (KOOK) launches into his diatribe about the hypocricy borne, perhaps, out of our general inability to do math, or do the math, if you will.

"Kill a few people and you're a monster, kill millions and you're a hero--numbers sanctify.", Monsieur Verdoux tells the court, along with a few other choice morsels.

Numbers sanctify. Numbers. Numb and number. And who can be number than us?

Numbers. Those who cause others to be numb. (See MSM)

Comfortable number. Unafflictedly comfortable number.

When we numb awaken. And pluck the sleep from the eyes of the people.

Maybe we can unleash a hundred thousand Verdoux on Iraq!
Think of the heroism!

Sophistica World Think Tank

The New Knowledge Web
Brainchild of visionary, Michael Pococky.

Monday, July 04, 2005

Oil 'will hit $100 by winter'

Now aren't you glad you weren't one of those suckered into buying one of their gas-guzzling SUVs!

Pity that poor beast manunleashed! The non-prescient among us went out in droves to buy huge gas-guzzlers, and now their consumptive ways have, perhaps, caused the crisis we are about to witness.

Won't get fooled again?

Yeah, right!

Sunday, July 03, 2005

Which spice is best? Salt, pepper, mustard or ketchup?

I like all four spices. I've even heard there was another one out there somewhere...probably in China or something. But I am glad we have four spices in this country. A hotdog with pepper and salt would not be right. And ketchup on eggs, although done, is really not right.

Since Charlotte is the ketchup-consumption capital of America, I should loyally eat it at every occasion, but I do not. In fact I am almost sick of ketchup. Sorta like Oskar Matsarath getting sick of fish in "The Tin Drum".

From archaeoethnobotany, we learn that salt has caused the death of more civilizations than all wars combined. And yet, I still like it. It makes things taste salty.

And Dr. Lendon Smith said we should never eat black pepper, but alas, he died.

And mustard is in the Bible, so we have to eat it.

In conclusion, and in order the create that final paragraph that should be edited out, I want to say that four spices are good. We don't need any more, and if anyone tries to invent new ones, tell them to go to Heck.


Recent News & Opinion

Jimmy Breslin asks: If George W. Bush wants young people to get into this war so much, why doesn't he send his two daughters over to Iraq and fight for their country? (GreatWhiteBear)

How the Mighty Have Fallen: Ralph Reed, the former Golden Boy of the Christian Coalition, and George Bush’s longtime political adviser, is under investigation in Washington and taking fire at home. (Bill Berkowitz )

Afghanistan was held up as an example of U.S.-led nation-building just three months ago. But that optimism has succumbed to near-daily ambushes, bombings, execution-style killings and this week's downing of a U.S. military helicopter.

When you don’t like the facts - just change them
The White House’s White-Out Problem
The Bush administration has gotten into the nasty habit of doctoring its reports whenever the facts don’t match its preconceived agenda. Here are some instances of the White House’s magic pen at work: (From In These Times' blog)

How to predict the end of the Iraq War

A few easy steps

Rove does the Perpwalk


President Kong

Cartoon by Mike Luckovich

Another take on the War Speech...

Project for the OLD American Century

liberal news from unbiased sources