Jesus the Clown
These are trying times, these are tiring times. These are the times that try men's souls, and the time to change men's tires. These are unctuous times.
At times like these there is no greater hope, no greater voice, no greater emulator of sad sAtisfaction than our very own Jesus the Clown: President of War. A frightful thought now that one thinks of it.
Granted, I am no Lee. I have no ear of JTC, nor any pull. But if'n you were to have a quextion whose answer has undeniable universal appeal, I will see if I can get Red Roverer, his make-up artist, to construct a reasonable simulacrum.
OFFER DOES NOT INCLUDE POSTAGE, BATTERIES, OR HANDLING FEES. IF YOU EXPERIENCE A LIGHTNESS OF WALLET OR DIFFICULTY URINATING, IT MIGHT BE BECAUSE YOU HAD SEX WITH A SLATTERN AND A STRUMPET, AND YOU WILL PROBABLY HAVE TO HAVE THE OFFENDING ORGAN REMOVED. DO NOT TAKE JESUS THE CLOWN WITH A GRAIN OF SALT AS IT MAY INDUCE EXISTENTIAL VOMITING OR A SARTRIAN STRABISMUS. USE ONLY AS DIRECTED.
