Sorry I'm late. Let me jump right in...
Ron Paul: [undiscernible]...thing is, the Republicans have really screwed things up ever since Dick Cheney and the Neo-cons have foisted this fake and illegal war on the American public, and I can tell you this much...the American public is sick of it. (Cheers, loud applause, and general commotion.)
Rudi Giuliani: May I say something?
Anderson Cooper: Go right ahead...
Rudi Giuliani: I was AT 9/11 and I say we did NOT screw things up, or PULL IT, like Mr. Paul and his conspiracy theorists are spewing out there... like so much dross, if I may be frank.
Anderson Cooper: Please, by all means, be frank...
Rudi Giuliani: Like I said, I was at 9/11, you may remember, and now that I think I bout it, I don't remember seeing YOU there.
Anderson Cooper: I was there, sir, you just didn't see me. Maybe if you would have pulled the mask off away from your eyes...
Mike Huckabee: I really must jump in here...
Rudi Giuliani: Shut up, you hick. I've just about had with your Jethro impressions.
Mike Huckabee: I'm rubber and you're glue, and whatever you say bounces off me and sticks to you. [Under his breath, although still audible] Stupid asshole!.
Rudi Giulini: Who ya callin' an asshole, asshole?
Fred Thompson: I see what you are doing here. You're not fooling anybody. Chris tried to pull this shit the other day, and I draped it around his neck.
Anderson Cooper: Can we please come to order?
George Allen: Macaca
Ron Paul: By exerting downward pressure on our moral foundation, the neo-cons have converted powdered turquoise into pyramid bricks, and the only way to correct it is to remove taxation as a part of reality, and replace it with what I call "Pocket Constitutions"...
John McCain: Saying nothing, he flail his stubby little arms like a semaphor, but then suddenly blurts out the word, "WAR!".
Mitt Romney: (Holding back snickers and a milky way) Would you please hold my coat and snicker?
John Mccain: A-or-ta
Duncan Hunter: Kill! Kill! Kill!
Tom Tancredo: Those damn immigrants...
Anderson Cooper: And that is all the time we have for round one. When we return, we will hear from actual Youtube viewers.
COMMERCIAL BREAK
Whew! Well, you get the idea. Surely there is something better on...
