Monday, November 19, 2007

That Sucking Sound: The Clinton Years

When one thinks of the Clinton Years, one often recalls that honorificabilitudinatibus sound of sucking, filling the dark closets of the Oval Orifice. And, of course, the devil with the blue dress.

But one also thinks of ears. Big ears. Far too big for a diatom like H. Ross. Perot. [drumroll please. cue the sucking sound.] But you know what they say: Big ears, big... well let me just explain it this way: "hross" is the Old English spelling of "horse" (at least to the extent that they had any orthography).

Perhaps it was this preternatural disproportionality that disengendered many voters to HRoss, thus allowing the greasy shoehorn of fate to repopulate the White House without a Perot to brag about his Johnson, or a Bush to brag about barb. It was Clinton's turn, Jerry Brown be damned.

But the well-endowed Hross also left a legacy involving a sucking sound...when he bespoke of the jobs being sucked out of America (USA) were NAFTA to become law of the lamb. Did I say lamb? I meant sheep.

Meanwhile, the pigs are getting fatter still, and the dogs of war are all barked out. Jeez this is starting to sound like a Pink Floyd album.

Album, you say?

The moral of the story, if there is one, might resemble this: You can lead a Hross to falter, but you can't blame it on Walter.

"But that makes no sense!", you say.

Welcome to America. And for God's sake don't boo the queen.

(This important message has been brought to you by...ADC: the American Digression Corporation, where sport trumps knowledge.)

This is not a time to replay old tapes or albums.
We need a clear break from the sickeningly nefarious 20th century.

We can start anew, and distance ourselves from all that, by supporting 21st century politicians, artists, writers, bloggers, social networking leisure-cats, and everyone named David.
Or, we can re-open old wounds.

Don't re-open old wounds.
Release the Healer Monsters.

Edwards and Obama.
Healer Monsters.