Tuesday, February 28, 2006

The Liberal Media presents: The Virtual Bohemia Channel

Virtual Bohemia Television that Heals and Edifies

Featuring the best in alternative programming for the evening, late night and the following morning.

Freud's Banana
Not unlike Newton's Apple, but with emphasis on human sexuality. Sometimes a banana is just a banana. This wouldn't be one of those instances.

England's answer to COPS, BOBBIES features the wacky antics of gentlemen with short bats. Viewers have commented on just how crude and boorish COPS seems, after viewing the more civilized Bobbies in action.

Food-Chain Gang
In this bizarre natural comedy, each rung up the ladder gets to laugh and point at the poor sucker one rung beneath him or her. But to make things interesting, the entire chain is literally chained together. Now let's see who comes out on top!

Arnold the Robopig
Arnold Zifflenegger has a problem. He is frankly a robotic swine overly concerned with Kohlberg's Third level of moral development, namely Law and Order. Watch as Arnold squeals on his friends and family until there is only one creature in the entire village who is not behind bars. Guess who.

Taboo Quest
Taboo Quest seeks out all the major world taboos...and exploits them for financial gain. This season we even hope to create a few new taboos, for your viewing pleasure.

As It Were
Virtual Bohemia's answer to the History Channel, only condensed into a 30-minute show...which is about as much History as most people want.

Imperfect Weekend
This Friday evening show previews some of the more arcane things taking place over the weekend. If you can't afford The Perfect Weekend...try an Imperfect one. You might see all your friends. At least the cheap ones!

Sexual In Your Window
This show, called the ballsiest on TV, is the best of video voyeurism, with particular emphasis on private sexual acts caught on tape. Great fun for the adult viewer!

Life After Money
Whether it be Life chasing after money, or what life can be like after you have lost it all, Life After Money is the show that treats of these two seemingly disparate states.

Genius Search
Star Search raised to the highest level, Genius Search seeks out the best minds in the world and rewards the recipient with whatever he or she needs in order to further their work.

Tobacco Executives
Tobacco Executives features the lives of the heads of this dying industry, only in a situational comedy format. The twist is that no one EVER tells the truth, so you can imagine the tangled webs they create.

Voyeur TV
First there was Real TV. Then there was Weird TV. Welcome to the Age of Voyeur TV! We highlight the best of voyeuristic TV shows around the world, as well as create a few ourselves...so there is absolutely no need to look elsewhere.

Green Witch Village
Green Witch Village documents the life and people of the community known as Green Witch Village...since that, indeed, is the name. Starting out as a Virtual Community, Green Witch Village is now a clothing-optional "Intentional Paradise" in the mountains of North Carolina. Membership is available, but is a million dollars. Can you pay my way? Watch to find out!

Rampant Pelvises
Rampant Pelvises is a sort-of MTV-style dance show...only the music is good and the people are good-looking and deliberately sexy. All "outfits" are dropdead, and can be purchased from the show. Same with the music. You can even chat with the dancers and set up 5-minute dates with them. Great for the kiddies!

Mama and Dada
A surreal show about how everyone's mother wants to be a Dadaist, but is invariably thwarted by agents from the cruel and lazy planet of Husbandry. Watch as the Husbands move in and remove toilet seats from the walls, only to leave the lid up elsewhere.

Canned Laughter
Canned Laughter is a new concept in TV. First we set up situations where people say unfunny things to each other, and then we edit in uproarious laughter so the viewer thinks that what was said is actually funny! On second thought...most "comedy" shows are just this! Oh well... Watch anyway. It's unfunny in a funny way.

Flower Arrangers
When Power Rangers failed to edify the children of America, but instead taught then how to beat each other up, a bunch of producers and enlightened TV execs got together and decided it was time that children learn something more socially useful, like flower arranging. This is the result. A little slow, but no violence.

Left-handed Animals
Documenting the strange lives of left-handed animals, Sir David Attenuationborough polishes his British accent to the low moans of widows statewide.

Seeing Godot Out
Godot has finally arrived, but was found to be a rather tedious soul, and so now the Becketts are trying to figure out how to get rid of him. In this episode, Fred Neechy, the neighbor suggests that Sam (Beckett) coerce the local newspaper to use "Godot is Dead" as their headline on Sunday. Godot does not move. But watch anyway.

World's Sexiest
First you had America's Funniest. Then came World's Funniest. Enter World's Sexiest... The show that features the sexiest everything in the world. Home videos, music, cars, jets, resorts, nightclubs, cities, countries, grocery stores...you name it. It's all on World's Sexiest!

Bleak Condo
The Busch family never seemed to be able to make it out of the '80s. Never really wanted to! Watch as this ludicrous family lives out their pathetic '80s lifestyle to the derision of their more evolved and hip neighbors.

Snail World
Road rage. Traffic jams. Standing in lines. These are among the many earmarks of the brick-and-mortar world, and this show is here to laugh at the people who have yet to make it to the Netizenry. Come join in the revelry! Or don't!!

Time Invaders
Thought by some to be more insidious than Space Invaders, Time Invaders are those people who take up way too much of your precious American time. This is their side of the story.

Stand-up Tragedies
The show for Stand-up comedians with low self-esteem. "If I bomb...so what! I am a walking tragedy!" Although many performances really are tragic, an occasional funny slips through now and again. See if you can spot one!